In the Sedra that we read this week Isaac marries Rebecca, Abraham marries for a second time and we read of his children, and learn of the children of Ishmael from his wife. How striking that in the entire Bible there is no evidence of divorce clearly stated. For religious reasons Moses separates from his wife, but not because they do not get along. Some of the characters in the Torah marry more than one wife, but the majority love only one woman, and by the time of the Talmud monogamy is the general rule.
In those ancient times there were no dates, as we know them. Men did not find the women they were to marry. There were no special bars for that purpose and there were no single groups. Usually the bride and groom's parents put the young couple together, and usually arranged marriages held.
When Abraham and Joseph and Joshua lived the common man did not fall in love. Such an idea is relatively new and has been made popular more by Hollywood than by any other cultural force. For many reasons it seems that falling in love is not, and never was, a good indicator of marriage. What large percent ends in divorce right now? What percentage of people divorced even a generation or two ago? Even the generation of Hollywood that pointed the way to falling in love has had a rather dismal history of couples staying together.
Marriage works when the couple chooses to make it work. Marriage works when the bride and groom stop shopping for a new spouse after they marry. Marriage works because people choose to make it work, because people create priorities that demand that they stay together.
Of course some marriages should end in divorce. Our Torah would not include laws of divorce if that were not the case. However, we can learn from the Patriarchs and Matriarchs that marriage is not a vow to be taken lightly.